Don`t hit me !!

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    A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can`t bring that animal in here, they aren`t allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."
    The bartender says "Well then, lets see!"
    So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
    He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don`t hit me with that stick."
  • Smart Monkey !! A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he`s drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and...
  • Plastic surgery ?? A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, 'Hey, you don`t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.' The lady asks...
  • Unfaithful Wife A husband suspects his wife is having an affair. He needs to go on a business trip for several days, so he decides to set a trap for her. He puts a bowl of milk under the bed. From the bed springs, he suspends...
  • Quit Smoking !! A young couple had been married for a couple of weeks, and the man was always after his wife to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some lovemaking, and he said, 'You really ought to quit.' She, getting tired of his nagging, said...
  • Making Cakes!! There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says 'Mummy what are they doing?'. The mother hesitates then quickly replies...
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